A Thought
As I sit here in my underwear, watching cartoons and eating Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, it occurs to me things haven't changed much in about 15 years.
no submarines, no plastic flowers
I drink, have opinions, have awkward sex, poop, and do a lot of embarrassing things.
Apologies
People keep following me on Posterous, so I'm feeling guilty at neglecting it so long. I only updated my tumblr for the first time in weeks today. Two birds then, I guess. I usually only like writing here when I have something to say, which is why I haven't been posting. I've been contented. It's rare, but it does happen to me.
I got into America a week ago and it's been relatively smooth sailing. I'm sitting in my den across from Becca, listening to Amelie in the background as we play computer games together.
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More On Moreover
Since my short moreover post created a bit of discussion, I thought I would go further into my reasoning.
In a setting where advanced English is expected, like an academic paper, using or overusing transitions (I consider using moreover as seriously overusing transitions) makes you sound dim to readers who are more likely to be well-educated. Using transitions is insulting to the reader, because the reader knows your sentences/ideas are choppy, meaningless, and/or unthought out, and as a writer, you can either try to cover that up with transitions and waste even more time, or accept your limitations. Accepting your limitations does not reveal them any more than otherwise, but it manages to show respect to your reader.
Moreover, further, furthermore, and similar words just mean, "hey look, I'm still talking", and even if you want to cover your tracks with transitions, these will just make whatever you're writing sound silly.
Granted, I didn't have a good plan in writing this and I've been traveling for fifteen hours, but I didn't really use any transitions in this rather long post and I don't think anyone could find fault in that. Would my flow have been improved with transitions? If you think so, please rewrite this with transitions or explain your reasoning.
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Leaving Japan
It's my last night here in Japan, and I'm just wrapping things up. I think one of my biggest problems with leaving a country is all the change I accumulate.
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Word That Immediately Pisses Me Off
Never, ever, ever use the word "moreover". First, you don't know how to use it, and secondly, it ruins the flow of anything you're talking about.
Moreover, it will make you look like an idiot.
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A Fucking Vegetarian
I just got back from Tokyo, and I must say, it was crazy fun. Last night my friend and I stayed up until about 8am. For a while we were just sitting outside watching the prostitutes try to get clients. Two of them were after this one English guy who was off his head and quite possibly the funniest person I've ever seen. He stumbled up to a kebab truck and one of his trailing hookers said something to him that my friend and I couldn't hear, and he responded by yelling, "I'm a fucking vegetarian!". I'm not sure what could prompt that response, but we broke down laughing as he continued to order a chicken kebab. I'm a vegetarian, too, and I've decided the next time someone offers me meat, instead of apologizing and explaining why I can't eat it, I'm just going to scream, "I'm a fucking vegetarian!".
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Oh Tokyo
I got into Tokyo yesterday and it`s been pretty intense. I met an Internet buddy here and we went out drinking. It`s all a big blur after that but I remember singing reggae. We somehow ended up in a massage parlor at like 3am and I thought why not and got a massage but then like five minutes into it, the girl wanted $300 to have sex with me. I tried to laugh it off and explain to her any number of reasons why that wasn`t going to happen. She didn`t seem to care that I had a girlfriend so I focused on explaining my lack of funds. She got to my wallet in an effort to get my credit card, which I pried away from her, but I think in my drunken stupor she managed to nick $30 from me (all the while saying "it`s okay baby"), aside from whatever I paid for the really crappy massage. Thinking back, this isn`t actually the first time this has happened to me. I don`t remember what happened after we ran out of the massage parlor but my friend eventually dumped me in a manga cafe where they have little booths that you can rent for the night. I threw up in my little booth. My friend picked me up in the morning but left pretty soon and I was alone in Tokyo. It`s hot. Super hot. And I was tired as hell and still a bit drunk. I spent about an hour trying to find an ATM to replenish my completely empty wallet (thanks Japanese prostitute!) and then I fell into this spa place that was pretty much a godsend. They had a cot that I slept in for a few hours, and then I wandered into the bath area where I took an interesting sitting shower amongst a bunch of naked Japanese men. I got into the communal bath, which was super relaxing. I`m now in an Internet cafe, next to someone playing Guns N` Roses, and I`m wondering what to do next. I`m meeting my friend at 9pm again tonight, and I think this time I`m going to try to slow down the drinking a bit.
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The Thought That Counts
I'm critical. The word "overly" has been applied from time to time. On the subject of gifts from my mother, and my associated anger involved, I'm often reminded that it's the thought that counts. The way I look at it, though, is that if someone constantly complains of their lack of space and excess of junk, you should not send them a piano. Don't spend $50 on shipping fees to send me food I've either repeatedly denounced or never bought because chances are, even with a $50 surcharge, I still won't like it. If the thought is what counts, then I should consider the gifts as a slap in the face, considering what little thought went into them.
So today, the girl who has been having me edit her barely English paper gave me what she said was traditional food from the region we're in. Her English deficiencies led to her not catching on to the "Belgian" part of the Belgian Waffles she got me. The thought actually does count on this one, but as Becca can attest, editing her paper today almost made me flip my shit.
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The Power I Wield
I usually spend most of my time editing papers written by people with poor grasps of the English language. It takes a lot out of me when I'm desperately trying to fix these papers and not act as the type of editor I would like who could just stamp REJECTED or REWRITE AND RESUBMIT on the papers. However, today a paper landed in my inbox that was written by the (other?) arrogant American guy in the office. It's much easier to edit and thrills me every time I find an error.
I used to edit in black pen, but I've switched over to red, and it's super intimidating. I almost made someone cry the other day. It amazes me how every single time I give a paper back, people are surprised at how covered in red marks it is. How do people not realize what poor writers they all are? English is a really fucking difficult language, and there are very few things that don't need editing. My time here has shown me what a fleeting grip I have over my own writing, and it's slightly scary to think of being in a world where your methods of expression are so weak.
The more I learn about my language, the more I confront one of my biggest fears: the thought of not being fluent in any language.
That said, I just realized I've been editing papers for my mother who I'm pretty sure has an English degree from the University of Chicago. I don't even take English and I'm lucky to have graduated from high school. I'm not actually sure what the value of an English degree is, though. Unless they're teaching advanced grammar, it just sounds like getting a degree in being a consumer.
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